On some confessions…

My head is swirling right now because I’ve got so much to do. I’m working 12 hours tomorrow (Yes, 12 hours on New Year’s Eve) and I get a bit tired just thinking about it. And no, I don’t plan on working out tomorrow. Just like I didn’t today. (I may sneak in a 30 Day Shred tonight before bed if I don’t fall asleep at this desk first.) And I know, if I have time to blog, I have time to work out. But honestly, I’m only blogging because I’m waiting for something to finish transfering from my computer to my hard drive and I’m also answering emails so this, my friends, is MULTITASKING at it’s finest. If only I could find a way to do squats at the same time. 😉

I thought I’d just share some of what’s swirling around in my brain right now. Hopefully getting it out on paper (ha) will clear it up and I’ll feel less stressed about tomorrow and the next few weeks…

1. While I have amazing plans and intentions for this blog, I feel like I’m slacking already. I was supposed to not start this blog until the middle/end of January but I’m not a very patient person so I started early. And now I’m feeling like a sucky blog poster. At least the blog will be padded with a few back-posts by the time I really get going. 😉

2. There’s some sort of strange magical time shift that happens in relation to days working out and days not working out. My first 2 days doing the 30 Day Shred seemed like weeks. Now I’m on day 3 of not doing it and the days are FLYING BY. Why don’t they fly by while I’m working out. Then I could look back and be like, “Oh man, I worked out for 2 hours every day for the last 2 weeks and now I’m a few pounds lighter.” How come that never happens? Ever. Grrr…

3. My job is really physical some of the time. So I like to count days that I’m actually out of the office working as one extended work out. Maybe one day I’ll get one of those contraptions they use on the Biggest Loser that tells you how many calories you burned and wear it all day while I’m out working and see how much I actually burn. I bet it’s a fair amount. Anyone have one of those things they’d like to let me borrow. It’s for science. How can you say no to science?

4. Feeling fat and disgusting is horrible. And I feel it ALL THE TIME. And I just want to break every mirror in our entire house. (And in the world, but I don’t know if I can deal with that much bad luck.) I just want to crawl into bed and hide every time I’m faced with the task of getting dressed to actually go anywhere. I’m fine in yoga pants and hoodies at home (and to the grocery store, who are we kidding?) but having to be presentable for real life meetings or work or just going out makes me want to claw my eyeballs out. I hate it that much.

5. I’m not going to lie, sometimes the idea of just not going to the grocery store, saving money, and not having anything to eat in the house is more appealing to me than anything else. To my slightly crazy brain, it seems like a win-win. Lose weight, save money, spend saved money on super cute dresses from Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters.


So proud of myself…

I did not eat junk food today! After no time for making meals at home (or even eating meals at home because I was out of the house all day long), I refused fast food while STARVING in the car and ate trail mix and a peanut butter granola bar that I had stuffed in my bag this morning (so there’s something to this whole “planning ahead” thing after all). While I most definitely did NOT get enough water today, which I’m sure I’ll be feeling tomorrow, I did eat a power bar later in the afternoon while working and then at a big plate of salad (something I’ve been craving like CRAZY) and a bit of pasta + a roll. Oh, and… purple onions. I’m all about purple onions now. I have HATED onions all my life and now, I can’t get enough of purple onions. (In fact, that reminds me that I need to add them to the grocery list…. done.) I can literally eat them just by themselves. My mom would be SHOCKED.

I don’t have any photos because I was too busy working to take any but, I thought I’d still share. I skipped the 30 Day Shred yesterday because I’ve been so sore from it that I could barely walk and I needed to be able to walk today since that’s pretty much what I spent all day doing. And now, my legs hurt too bad to think about shredding myself. So, I’m going to call this one a day.

Did I mention how proud of myself I am? No junk food today! And it taunted me all day long!


Big plans…

It’s been a few posts now and I haven’t really talked at all about my resolutions. Or my plans. I guess it’s because I don’t really have them defined yet. There is so much I want to learn, so far I want to go and I’m not really sure what to set in stone as a goal, and what to just let myself naturally fall into. I know that everyone will be updating with wonderful resolutions very soon, but I’ve always been a believer in setting and starting those changes before New Years, just as a mental note that this isn’t just for January 1st, it’s for my LIFE.

Here’s what I’ve got so far. (I may refine as I go. I like leaving myself some flex space.)

Things I definitely want to do in 2010:

1. Get back down to my goal weight/size (Notice how I said size, so don’t send me nasty emails about how weight is just a number) 😉

2. Cook more diverse and creative dinners and meals at home.

3. Run a 5K, then run a 10K

4. Break through this plateau that my body has decided to camp at.

5. Learn more about food pairing

6. Discover new vegetables that I like

7. Plan out meals better so that I can shop at the farmer’s markets

8. Grow in my yoga practice

9. Find some sort of love (or at least less hatred) for running

10. Have flat, defined abs and thighs that don’t rub together. (Laugh if you like, but that’s a MAJOR goal for me)

And, because I’m visual… from the moment I saw this photo in the tabloids years ago, I vowed to one day be the brunette version…

So… the above photo is my final 2010 goal. Watch out!